Birth of Jordan

I had a couple of intentions and wishes for this birth. The first was to be more present and the second was to catch my own baby. My team knew this and were super supportive and on board. I was also GBS+ and had decided to get antibiotics since I was pretty cultured with it. My diagnosis of polyhydramnios was mild but because of it, I was experiencing inconsistency with contractions, prodromal labor, and my baby was having a hard time engaging and getting lower than a 0 station.
I’m also not a great writer or storyteller, so bear with me. WARNING: Graphic birth photos of birth are also included in this post.

I started having prodromal labor on Wednesday, June 12th which put me at 41 weeks 2 days. Contractions would be spontaneous all day. They stopped at night and I woke up still pregnant. On Thursday, I started having contractions again and did some tinctures to see if we could get labor to continue and keep going, especially since I was nearing 42 weeks. My mom came to stay the night and be with my kids just in case things really picked up and it was go time.

At bedtime, I was still having some sporadic contractions. I wasn’t really able to sleep. My midwife stopped by on her way home from another birth (it was like 2:30 or 3 in the morning) to see where I was in labor. I was 4 cm at that point, but baby was still high up (maybe -1 station) and I think I was like 50% effaced. I was pretty disappointed because I wasn’t able to sleep through these contractions. They left to get some sleep, and I took a shower to hopefully relax a bit and sleep. I also cried a bit and let myself feel the frustration. I slept between contractions for the rest of the night and was up around 5:45 am.

Contractions still were not coming at a consistent interval, which was unlike my previous 4 labors. When I would have a period of some consistency, I would update my team and then again, labor would become sporadic. Things were definitely getting intense though. I called my midwife around 6:15 am to let her know. I knew I didn’t need her right away and let her sleep a little longer (she’d been at a birth the day/night before). I had been texting both my birth photographer/videographer and support/honorary doula and they decided to come on up just in case.

I continued to labor, dealing with the inconsistency and frustration that accompanied it. The intensity was there and I was exhausted. Each contraction needed my breathing, focus, and a position change to cope.

Danielle and Rowan arrived just after 8 am I believe. Amanda, my midwife, got there before 9 am and checked me. Things had spaced out again. I think I was around 6-7 cm then and still 0 station. The team recommended I try and sleep if I could and they’d go rest and eat breakfast. I was able to fall asleep for a little bit. The rest was much needed and I continued to labor alone in my bedroom and the shower for a couple hours. I again let the tears and frustration out.

My sweet 7 year old stayed close by me during a lot of labor. She was such a calming presence and was so sweet. I loved having her there. When we had talked about them being around for labor, my girls had wanted to just stay downstairs until it was pushing time, but they surprised me during labor and my oldest two stayed close and witnessed.

Contractions continued and the team came back around 1:30 pm. I spent a lot of time in the shower, one shower head on my back and the hand held shower head on my belly. The affirmations that continually got me through were “soften and surrender” and “the only way out is through”. I was checked again around 2 pm and was 8 cm and 75% effaced. I really hadn’t wanted to be checked so much, but the intensity of contractions and baby not coming down was in my head. Before getting in the tub, we tried to get the IV going for GBS antibiotics, but my veins were not cooperating, and I opted to forgo the meds.

I got in the tub around 2:30 pm and continued to labor. I was vocalizing through contractions at this point. I had a couple of my sisters-in-law arrive for support. I labored in the tub for a while and then decided to go back to my bedroom to have some more alone time and utilize the shower. It was at this point my team suggested sending extra people away to help me relax and feel more comfortable.

Contractions were getting more and more intense. I’d have to turn the shower off in between contractions so I didn’t use all of the hot water. Occasionally, I’d get out and go lay on the bed for a bit. At one point, we used the peanut ball and I fell asleep in between a few contractions. I’m so grateful that my body knew I needed some rest. Again, I got in the shower and continued to labor. I felt a lot more pressure in my hips at this point. I was still vocalizing and squatting a bit to cope through contractions. I decided to head back to the birth pool shortly after 5 pm. I asked to be checked again because I was starting to feel grunty and a slight urge to push.

I was finally complete! However, baby was still not fully engaged. He was sitting at a 0 station. I knew my waters needed to be broken. However, because of my extra fluid, we were being more cautious. Amanda had one of her dear midwife friends (Amanda Sr) come verify that there was no cord below baby’s head (and I’m so grateful for the caution and verification) before we broke my water. 

When Amanda Sr. got there and confirmed no cord, I practically begged them to finally break my water. I had honestly been asking most of the day 😂

My waters were broken at 6:43 pm. Two minutes later, I began pushing. Bryce had been holding me and supporting me since I’d gotten in the tub. My oldest held the fan when I began to push. His head finally engaged and he dropped quickly. I pushed for 8 minutes. It was the most intense and painful part of my labor. Because he dropped so fast and the urge to push was almost immediate, I was roaring. I was still present though and in between the pushing, I tried to rest and breathe. Bryce was with me holding my shoulders and Amanda was making sure to help keep my bottom in the water. It did help ground me and also helped me still have the water birth I desired! I continued pushing and when his head finally came out, the relief was almost instant. Amanda had told me to reach down and feel his head. I kept my hands there as he was born and caught him. Jordan was born at 6:53 pm.

The craziest 10 minutes ever. Bryce told me later that our girls were in awe watching baby be born, even with how loud I was. I asked them later if it was scary for them (I was a little worried with how intense and fast the end was that they’d be a bit traumatized) but they weren’t scared at all, and both have since told me they hope to have birth center or home births.

Because he came out so quickly (ten minutes from my water breaking) he didn’t get some of those good squeezes to clear his lungs and the fluid out. He needed just a little extra help transitioning. The team did some oxygen and positions to help him transition. He never left my chest though! For the GBS, they sprayed colloidal silver on his little face. I was to monitor his temp and watch for signs of infection. Spoiler alert: no GBS infection.

While the midwives were taking care of Jordan, I was tuning into my body for when the placenta was coming. The time between baby and placenta being born is always so uncomfortable for me. I remember letting the team know when the separation gush happened. I would test the cord every now and then to see if the placenta had fully released. Eventually, I felt the urge to push again and caught my placenta as it was born. That was a really empowering moment for me as well. I had remained present for my labor, birth, and now postpartum, just like I envisioned. 

Once Jordan was doing well and the pulsating was done, we clamped the cord and my mom cut. I handed Jordan off to Bryce and got out of the tub to warm up and rinse off in the shower.

When I got out and back to bed, we all took turns holding and snuggling baby boy. The girls were all smitten!

This labor and birth was a whole new experience. A lot of things I had planned or thought I would do, did not happen. But I know that labor and birth are often journey’s with unexpected twists and turns. I knew when I needed to pivot and trusted my gut. I trusted my team and found so much safety and support with them. To be surrounded by those you choose, love, and trust makes such a huge impact on the experience. It is freeing to feel so completely cared for, supported, heard, and loved.

Birth is a beautiful and transformative path. Each and every time, it teaches me, humbles me, and shows me the power I have. It is a testament of the sacredness and divinity of our bodies and the incredible miracles they can perform.